In honor of my precious Granny

I can hardly believe it, but today marks the fourth year of my granny going Home to be with the Lord. Every year I do something in her memory, to honor her life so today I am dedicating this post to her. It may take me a while, stopping to wipe my tears and blow my nose along the way but I hope you enjoy reading my story of a woman who has impacted me greatly and whose loss has left a great whole in my heart.







When I was a little girl I saw granny very little actually. My family lived in Northern Michigan and she lived in Houston Texas. When we did see her, it was such a special treat. I remember thinking of her kinda like a boy thinks of a super hero. In 1989 they diagnosed my granny with terminal cancer. I was 5-6 years old at this time and I remember clearly, praying every night, "please Lord save me someday and please make my Granny better." I prayed that prayer every night. In the end of July, the Dr.'s called all her children to come say goodbye. They had opened her up and found that her cancer was wrapped around every major organ in her body. With no hope, they did they could nothing for her, they sent her home with 72 hours to live. The same night, mom got a earth shattering phone call from home telling her, her 6 month old baby had been killed. The Dr.'s warned greatly about keeping this news from granny because they believed it would be enough to send her over the edge and kill her. When she awoke from being opened up she demanded to know where Cathy was. Mom's siblings tried running around it but gave in and told what had happened. Today, my Mom is convinced it actually gave Granny motivation to fight for her life in order to be their for her daughter. Who knows for sure, but one thing we do know is God spared her life and performed a miracle in her life.

That Christmas, she was going through chemo, still fighting for her life. I remember the family saying that it would probably be her last. On the way there I rode up front between my Mom and Dad and I asked my Dad, "Dad, is Granny going to die?" He gently answered me yes honey, it looks like she is going to die.
But little by little Granny did get better. She became strong again, although she had many hard days, days that she was very sick from the cancer being wrapped around those organs. But her cancer went into remission. The rest of us feared every time she went for a check up that it would return. Every time that it came back alright we breathed, "whew, she's okay."And every Christmas we celebrated as if it would be her last but thankful that 1989 wasn't her last.

This next picture was taken a year later, if my dates are right, but regardless I remember the night very, very well. It was at a Mother-Daughter banquet and Granny was asked to be the special speaker. She shared about the miracle that had been performed in her life. At the end of the night that had a special spot set up for pictures for the mother and daughters. I remember clear as day, holding onto my Granny's hand, looking up at her and asking, "Granny, will you take a picture with me?" I know a picture seems like a small thing today because we all have digital camera's and we take pictures like it's nothing. But to me getting my picture taken with her was like getting an autograph from a famous ball player. It was big deal to me. She was someone I admired, adored, she was my hero.

We visited when we could for Easter and Christmas. I have lots of good memories from those trips. Then in 1997 my Dad accepted a church in Florida about 35-40 minutes away from them. So seeing my Granny turned a little less into a privileged and a little more into a normal thing. But, still I hardly ever passed up the opportunity to see her I was bummed if I didn’t get to actually. To me, she was still the greatest woman to ever live. I remember working in the day care at my school I helped the head leader, Mrs. Betty every day. Well, this particular day My Granny and Pappa were coming to my High school because the principal had asked Pappa to do the letters on the building of my school. (Pappa was and still is a gifted craftsman). Anyways, I remember telling Mrs. Betty, “I can’t wait to see my Granny. She is the cutest lady ever!” Granny was shorter than me, she only weighed 100 pounds or so and she was almost ALWAYS smiling. When Mrs. Betty saw her walking in the parking lot she was excited to get to meet her and told Granny everything I said, and my Pappa said, “hey, what about me?!” Haha! That memory makes me giggle. I am so thankful I spent my high school years living close to Granny. She was there for every banquet, every play, birthday parties, and as many games as she could. She was mine and my brother’s biggest fan, always ready to cheer us on. Oh, how I loved her so.

The night before taking my ACT for college she was over spending the night and she slept in my bed next to me. I knew I needed to get some sleep, I was extremely nervous, but we spent half the night up giggling and talking away. Mom actually came in and shushed us once. That memory makes me giggle to. Often times when I spent the night at her house we would cuddle together on the couch under the warm blankets. She would make me soup and she always had cookies in her house!

College days quickly came and seeing her became less frequent. I got to see her at Thanksgiving my first semester and I was so excited. When I came home at Christmas she was away traveling. When she called to wish us all a Merry Christmas I told her I was mad at her because I wanted to see her. I was teasing of course, but I tell you that so you know just how much I absolutely loved being with my Granny. I missed her badly during college days. I remember one night, sitting on the bleachers for a break from cheering and I noticed the hands of an elderly lady in front of me. They reminded me of Granny’s hands and my eyes began to tear up. . I always held my granny hands and played with her rings when I visited her church or she visited mine.

Skipping to my Junior year, 2003 was the year I got engaged. Brian and I were planning on marrying that summer, however later deciding to postpone. Anyways, that Christmas I came home and Mom took me shopping for a wedding dress. (By this time Granny and Pappa bought a house a few miles away from ours). After finding a dress, I am so glad I did this now, drove over to Granny’s house to show her me wearing my dress. Then Brian flew down for New Years. This was the first and only time he got to meet my dear Granny. We spent one evening at her house playing cards. On the way home Mom asked Brian something, we were talking about Granny. I do not remember what Mom asked him but I remember his reply. He said, “Well, I can tell that she really, really loves Janelle.” Brian said that from only seeing us together one night.

The following summer, the doctors thought Granny may be getting sick again. Some signs were beginning to show up. At that point I was spending a month with my best friend Julie. I remember calling Granny from Julies apartment to tell her I loved her and was praying for her, I remember missing her badly and was sad because I didn’t think I would see her that summer. I was returning home that summer but she spent her summers in Michigan. However, she came to Florida for about a week and I got to see her before I left for my senior year of college. The other day I cried because for the life of me I could not remember the last good time I saw Granny before she passed on and it bothered me so much. But the other night I lied awake to 3 in the morning thinking of her and then I remembered this night!I was so happy! I was at her house this August night with some other family members and I passed around pictures of me in my wedding dress from my bridal fitting. I remember her looking at them, then she looked at me and said, “honey you are going to be a beautiful bride.” I can still hear her voice. I was actually at that time discussing with my Mom who I was going to ask to stand up for me. I told her that I was considering asking Granny because she was so important to me but I had not decided if I wanted to for sure or not.

I began my senior year and had a birthday shortly after. She sent me $100.00 which was such a blessing. I wrote her a thank you card, as I typically do but as I started writing I thought, you know what, now is as a good of time as ever to tell her how much I admire and adore her and just tell her how much she really means to me. I am so glad I did. That was the last card I ever wrote her, though I didn’t know it at the time. In October Mom visited me at college for a women’s conference and before she left, one of my Aunt’s called and said the dr.’s said her liver was shutting down. No, not cancer, she had siroccos of the liver. Who would have thought she would die from that rather than cancer, none of us!

Anyways, she was starting deteriorating and quick! They soon started calling all the family in. I couldn’t just leave because of classes so my parents and I started planning how I could get there and when. This entire week upon my arrival, the entire family was already there and almost every relative told me she has been talking about me all week, how proud she was of me and kept asking when Janelle was going to get there. That week I got nominated to be on homecoming court I called her so excited and she cheered, told the rest of the family and heard the rest of them all cheering. I talked to her another time that week and I told her she had to get better because she needed to be at my wedding. She answered, “I’ll be there honey, if not in body then in spirit, I promise I’ll be there.” It was then that I realized, this time she isn’t going to make it. When I got off the phone, not caring I was sitting in the middle of my campus, I sat there and I wept. I left on a Friday (this was less than 3 weeks later from the phone call.) On my way to the airport Dad called and said, “I’m sorry Janelle she took a turn for the worse last night, she is unconscious now, and I am calling to prepare you that you might not make it. you can imagine I was heart broken. I honestly did not think it would happen this quick.

Once I learned that she was getting very ill I began making her a scrap page. On this page I put words that made me think of her and stickers that represented a memory that I had of her. I made it with the thinking if she does die later on I will have one good, last memory of me sitting next to her reminiscing about all these different memories that we shared together.


I did make it that night. Dad told me to go ahead and still share my scrap page with her. It was nothing like I had imagined it to be. She was unconscious, so she couldn’t see it. She was responding so I couldn’t her laughing or see her smiling at the memories, And it wasn’t a moment shared only between us, every relative that was there, filed into that room, listening, crying and taking pictures. Everyone believed she was waiting on me, and thought she would pass as soon as I arrived. I struggled with this more than anything. Everyone else got to have a good last memory with her, of her talking and I didn’t. I could not understand why God would not have allowed her to have just one more good day, so I could hear her voice one last time. He showed me the answer to this, and I will explain that later.











The entire weekend I didn’t want to leaver her side. I read the Bible to her, sang to her, laid down next to her. On Saturday, we celebrated Christmas with her one last time. She loved Christmas. On Monday, November 8^, 2004 she passed away. I stayed a few more days for her funeral on Wednesday. Her funeral has been by far the most beautiful service I ever attended. It honored her life and it honored her Savior that she lived her life to honor. As people begun to walk to the casket to say their final goodbye all I could do was sit and weep. Everyone filed passed me and I didn’t care. In my mind if I went up that I would have to face the reality that she was really gone. I mark this moment as one of the hardest in my life.

After all the fellowship and food that night, my Uncle Ray drove all night to get me back to school. We talked most of the way. He shared something with me that night that has brought me so much peace. In 1989 when the Dr.’s sent her home with no hope to live she begged God for her life. Most of you are familiar with the story of Hezekiah in 2 Kings 20:1-11. In this story He prayed and begged God to spare his life for 15 more years. The Lord answered him telling him He heard his prayer, that He saw his tears, and that yes He would heal him and add to his days, 15 more years. I did not know that Granny prayed this same prayer and asked God for the same thing until that night. You do the math: She prayed this August of 1989 and she died November of 2004. Coincidence? You’ll never be able to convince me! That has God’s name written all over it. Praise His Holy Name! This has brought peace to my heart because Granny should have and could have died that summer, but God blessed me with a loving Granny for 15 more years. I wanted one more day with her but God gave me 5340 (15x356) more days with her.

I still miss her greatly. I still at times cry uncontrollably and wonder if this pain will ever go away. I ask myself will I ever get passed missing her? Probably not. I thought of her on my wedding day as I wore her jewelry, I will think of her every time the leaves begin to fall, every Christmas, the day I bare my first child, I will think of her every time I hear a song about Heaven because I know that is where she is walking beside her Savior that she dearly loved.

I found this song by Stephen Curtis Chapman the year after she died. Every Christmas season I play it over and over again and have yet to get through it yet with out crying. It describes the memory of her perfectly. But the part of the Harold Angels get's me going every time. I am so thankful I do not mourn as if there is no hope.

Her house was where the family gathered every Christmas eve; A feast was set on the table and gifts were placed beneath the tree. Everything was picture perfect, Grandpa would laugh and say, That woman spends the whole year getting ready for this day.

One year the leaves began to fall and her health began to fade; We moved her to a place where they could watch her night and day. But she kept making plans for Christmas from her little room; She told everyone, I’ll miss you but I’ll be leaving soon.

I’m going home for Christmas and I’m going home to stay; I’m going home for Christmas and nothing’s gonna keep me away. I’ll be with the ones I love to celebrate the Savior’s birth; This gift will be worth more to me than anything on earth. I’m going home, home for Christmas.

All the leaves outside have fallen to be covered by the snow; The family comes with food and gifts and Grandpa comes alone. There’s a sadness in our silence as the Christmas story’s read, And with tears, Grandpa reminds us of the words that Grandma said.

I’m going home for Christmas and I’m going home to stay; I’m going home for Christmas and nothing’s gonna keep me away. She’ll be face to face with Jesus as we celebrate His birth, And this gift will be worth more to her than anything on earth, ‘Cause she’ll be home.

And as we sing ‘Joy to the World’ I can’t help thinking Of the joy that’s shining in her eyes right now. And though our hearts still ache, we know that as we celebrate, She’s singing with the herald angels and heaven’s glowing on her face.

And now she’s home for Christmas and now she’s home to stay; She’s home for Christmas, and nothin’ could’ve kept her away. She’ll be face to face with Jesus, as we celebrate His birth, And this gift will be worth more to her than anything on earth. She’s home, she’s home for Christmas. She is home, she’s home for Christmas.